Columbus Day?

by Linus

Can someone please tell me why today is considered a holiday?  Please.

I mean I understand why it is a holiday, I understand Roosevelt wanted to gain more of the Italian vote so he made it a holiday, but I don’t understand why it is a holiday.  Why are we celebrating the life of a man who was a mass murderer who got lost trying to go to China?  What’s next, Charles Manson day?  Bernie Getz day?

I never met Chris Columbus, but he doesn’t really sound all that bright to me.  He set sail trying to find a shorter route to China, lands in the Caribbean (where there are no Chinese), and thinks he accomplished his mission?  He brings with him disease, and instead of trying to make peace, he kills the natives.  Wow, this sounds like a great man to me, let’s honor him in every way possible.  After all, he does have that go getter American spirit in him.  That get-out-of-my-way-or-die mentality that defines who we are.

I really don’t understand how someone can say with a straight face that Columbus discovered America.  How is it possible to discover a continent that already has people living on it?  How is it possible to discover a continent when you never actually step foot on that continent?  That would be like me saying I discovered Iceland.  I’ve never been there, and there are already people living there…so it clearly fits in with the Columbus method of discovery.  Have we really run out of people to honor?  I urge you to contact your local representative to end this madness.  I’ve already taken the initiative to write Obama to have him abolish this day as a holiday (I’m fine if you want to keep the day, but you need to honor someone else).

Enough already.  I actually got ‘happy holiday’d’ in Penn Station this morning, I looked at this woman like she was on crack.  It’s clearly not a holiday for all the above reasons, but if you need further confirmation, if the stock market is open, it’s not a holiday.