The Real Housewives of Anywhere

by Linus

When this show first came out, I will admit that I did willingly catch a few of the episodes of the ladies from Orange County.  While considerably wealthier than myself, they for the most part seemed like somewhat normal people, if it is in fact possible to be ‘normal’.  I say that because they had jobs, they had spouses, they had kids who didn’t seem like they grew up with a silver spoon in their mouth, ultimately they seemed like they had something positive to offer society.  The network couldn’t keep a good thing down, they signed up for more seasons and soon they began to franchise.

I’m not sure what city signed up next, possibly New York, but it only took a few years for this to turn into a classic reality television downward spiral.  As with most of these reality shows, there seems to be an unwritten rule that each season has to out-do the previous one in virtually every sense of the word.  The ladies from the new cities all seemed like they had to swear more, be trashier people, make more enemies, and all-in-all, just be bigger losers than the ladies from the other cities.  Season after season of allowing cameras to film virtually every aspect of their lives, we started to see these ladies succumb to that reality beast, that is to say for some of them, their lives slowly started to unravel.

Not wanting to slow down, the network did the only obvious thing, they added more cities to their line up and continued to show the nation what real housewives look like.  A person of lesser intelligence might look at their own situation and think they are doing something wrong, for I doubt that the main goal of the ordinary man’s wife is where to dine for lunch and what hat shall be worn.  And remember ladies, the hat must match the shoes or don’t even think about showing your face in public.  Come to think about, many of these ladies shouldn’t be showing their faces in public regardless of what hat they are wearing.  For the most part, these ladies are a disgrace not only to reality television (not hard to get that honor); they are a disgrace to women.  I happen to catch a few minutes of the show now from time to time, and it’s hard to know what’s being said due to all the bleeps that you hear, add in all the fights and talking behind each other’s backs, and it feels like I am watching a wrestling match filled with teenagers.  My favorite moment of course is when that nice upstanding mom from New Jersey lifts that throws aside the table while dining with family, ahh it makes me think back to my own holiday family dinners when Aunt Irma couldn’t control her temper and would always end up throwing the gravy across the kitchen.  The ladies from New Jersey make the original Orange Country ladies look like the Partridge Family, and I have no idea what planet the ladies of Beverly Hills came from…but where ever it is I wish they would return.

I have watched reality television for many years and there seems to be two constants, one I mentioned earlier is that unwritten rule that each season must out-do the previous one, and the second rule is that almost without exception, your life comes out worse than it was when you went in.  Why if that seems to always be the case, do people enter into these things?  The only answer I can think of is that the people who do it have nothing better to do with their lives.  Under no circumstances would I ever want every aspect of my life put on television, I am not that interesting and neither are 99% of the people on reality television.  I realize that many people blindly enter into reality television hoping it will be a springboard to something better, a way for them to launch their perfume or clothing line, but why can’t they just go to business school and do it the old fashioned way?